September 2006 Archives

ba ba ba baaaaaaaaa. baa.

it is true what they say about new zealand. it is chocko with the sheep. i'd say there is about one sheep for every blade of grass, give or take. also, every ewe has just delivered at least one lamb. lambing season!

man are those lambs cute. and tasty. cute and tasty. they win your heart AND your stomach! double-trouble!

we just got back from our ten day tromp around the south island. we took a billion and a half pictures, some of which are actually good. we had the fun and did a lot of oohing and ahhing.

we also, i'm glad to say, had a vakanky in our lodgeh. i'm not sure precisely what that means, but it's good news.

let's see... what can i share with you? highlights included a meal at Cook 'n' with Gas (thanks sassy) despite their inexplicible double-apostrophed "n". does that mean the restaurant is really called Cook and with Gas like rock 'n' roll means Rock and Roll? i'm unsure. what would Cook and with Gas mean? is that cook, and do so with gas? if so, thas coo'. kiwis seem to be less concerned with grammer than they might be. whatever. they have glaciers instead.

which were the second highlight. glaciers. have you ever been to a glacier? you should go. it's like a mountain barfed up a mile of eight-story high ice and you get to go poke it and hope it doesn't fall on your head. ice, by the way, is really cold. maybe you didn't know that, but it is true.

also highlightable was milford sound, which is actually not a sound but a fjord. fjord has a "j" in it, which makes it exotic and fun to say. fjords are created by glaciers over long periods of time so if you don't have a fjord handy you're going to want to pack a lunch or something 'cause it will take a while. we sailed around on this boat and saw some dolphins and a billion waterfalls and for a brief moment sailed out into the tasman sea into the roaring forties.

the slideshow presentation we saw on the roaring forties was not a highlight of the trip. frankly, i've seen more exciting commercials for lawn implements.

we drove around the south coast, called the catlins, where it wasn't as dramatic but where everyone was so friendly it made you go a little wonky. we rented an entire guesthouse for $75 bucks and watched the delicious little lambs. than i played the worst game of scrabble i've ever played. i swear, i picked the Q my first turn and at the end of the game i lost ten points because i still had it in my hand. fuck you Q. fuck you.

then, we saw some penguins. those things are damn goofy. they're all "flapflapflap... flap. huh. i can't fly? flapflapflap. flap. what was i doing? was i leaving the sea or going in? hmm. flap. guess i'll just stand here until i recall. did someone say tacos?" like that. but with a fishier smell.

all in all, it was a grand adventure and i'm glad i don't have to get back in a car today. i'm pretty chuffed to be back in wellington which is all familiar and almost-homey, and to know that in ten days we'll be on a plane to melbourne which hopefully will be actually-homey.

i also mailed in my crossword puzzle to the new york times so wish me luck.

last year, at this time, i was on my way to my bachelor party.

this year, at this time, i'm typing with freezing fingers in our sublet flat in newtown, wellington, new zealand.

we'll be in christchurch for our first anniversary next week. taking the ferry across the cook strait and then the train down the coast. we've got a b&b booked, massages scheduled, dinner plans in the works. then we'll spend nine days driving around in a rental car, looking at mountains and fjords and glaciers and probably a lot of sheep.

then, after another couple of weeks, we're moving to melbourne, australia.

there. i said it.

melbourne. we're moving. decision has been made.

dear america,

it's been nice seeing you and all. we've had good times. that time you gave me a passport was really sweet and i like all the presents you've given me. thing is, and i'm sorry, but i've started seeing someone else.

someone who's more sensitive. they don't have an extraordinary rendition program. they don't really even have much of an armed forces!* and well, remember how i needed to see a physician? and you were all like, "sorry hunny, no insurance, daddy can't help,"? well my new beau is different.

spent some time on the phone yesterday. found a local doc who would see me. she only charged me $35 bucks in her half-off local currency. and she even found away around their local regulations to prescribe me 3x as much medication as normally allowed since we're not going steady and i can't see her that often. when i took the scrip to the pharmacy? to get 3x the normal amount of medicine? it only cost $22!

in case your math is bad America, that's a total of $57 here, which is about $35 of your dollars. that's to see a doctor and get a mess of medication.

so, uh, i think it's time for us to see other countries.

call me sometime if, you know, you want to elect a new president or something fun like that.

*a joke we heard here.

so after 9/11 the US was all gearing up for war in afghanistan and iraq and they called their buddy new zealand to see if they'd help. the kiwis thought about it and said, "yup. she'll be right. you count on us to send all of our ship and all of our plane."