the way the toilet flushes

this past week has been of the intense variety.

physically, i went from equatorial ever-summer to antipodial winter. the sun disappeared. the warmth hid out.

emotionally, i descended upon my mother-in-law and devoured her crumpets (not a euphamism). i also for the very first time met my sister-in-law. briefly. i met her briefly. but i know what she looks like now. i am positive that she exists.

intellectually it's been a knock-down punch with a sack of pennies.

we've come to australia so i could meet bartlebee's grandparents. we planned on spending a month or so here before flying to new zealand to find an apartment, some jobs, a life. but reality kept kicking us in the shins.

it kept kicking with a question. that question being: what do we want to do?

we want to live in another country for a while. we want to have someplace like home for a while. we don't want to travel anywhere for a long stretch. we want to unpack. bathing would be nice. i'm also sort of keen on a burrito.

and the rumbling in our heads found some voice, somewhere in malaysia, with the idea of "why don't we go home for a bit?" it just sounded good. comforting. it fought with "let's go to new zealand" and it fought hard, but in the end we just don't want to go to new zealand right now. we're exhausted. and it's winter here.

of course we failed to realize that australian travel season is begining next week and all flight prices double. so we did the only thing we could think to do: we bought a ticket home for next week.

i'm still not 100% sure we're making the right call but when are you ever? we had to cut our australia trip a bit short but we'll be back in new zealand in a couple of months and we can easily visit again from there.

the other point that swung the vote for me was this; we were going to want to visit home eventually. it wasn't ever going to get cheaper than now and now we don't have jobs or an apartment or obligations we'd need to duck out of. now we can go home for as long as we want, abandon the snorkle and hammock in favor of some wooly sweaters, be there for my sister's third baby and my mother's 60th birthday, and eat a burrito.

so frankly i'm sort of spun out today. like i've been wrestling with myself for a week and finally one half got pinned.

i also turned 34. it involved a steak, a half-pound beetle, and a vastly terrible film.

i'll tell you about it when i see you.