go boom
i just heard it's supposed to snow in jerusalem. this isn't such great news as we're on our way there tomorrow.
of course, it's colder than frozen eskimoes in cairo so whatever. new country! israel! whoop! whoop!
not only do we have friends (FRIENDS! people we KNOW!!!) in jerusalem, but we also have place to stay and i can wear the cool ugandan yarmulke i bought again. not so keen on putting that puppy on in egypt. last night? at the mall? signs on the windows reading, "we do not serve citizens of denmark." luckily, i'm a yank and people hate us for reasons that have nothing to do with cartoons. we just start wars and torture prisoners and shoot our hunting partners in the neck. we do NOT condone the mocking of prophets and don't like people who do. except for the danes. and the norwegians. they have such nice eyes!
for all of you who are worried about us, what with the going to israel and terrorist fooferaw and anti-me-ism and brain worms and stuff, we decided to do you a big favor: we bought tickets to fly to sri lanka.
see? now you're not so worried about us going to israel, right?
no, really. it's good. we checked it out and sri lanka should be safe as houses as long as we stay in the south. the tamil tigers are more or less chill these days and no one wants to screw with the few tourists they can get post-tsunami.
but why sri lanka, you ask? well here's how it went.
EXT: FELUCCA - DAY
Zack, Bilge Pump Bob and Roger the Cabin Boy are swaddled in blankets watching their breath puff in the chill Nile River air.
ZACK: We need to go somewhere warm. This is not warm. We need some relaxing on the beach.
BOB: Sri Lanka is supposed to be great, man. It's summat else. I'd go there.
ROGER: I lahved Sri Lankah. Great food, friendly people, cheap.
Zack: Huh.
INT: INTERNET CAFE - DAY
Zack and Bartlebee sit at two computers, typing and reading.
ZACK: Tickets to Sri Lanka from Jerusalem are all $1400! Forget it. Oh. Dude. Look at this! Amman to Sri Lanka? On Emirates? $315. No change fee. Cancelling the tickets? We only lose $20.
BARTLEBEE: Huh!
END
and that, friends, is how great plans are made.
don't worry about the tigers. just keep singing those songs by MIA and they'll leave you alone!
blaze a blaze (galang a lang a lang lang)
purple haze (galang a lang a lang lang)...
i'm sure i said something much more intelligent than, Huh! probably something like, well. or, hmmm. or even, Cool. just to keep the record straight an' all.
huh!
Mom has passed your website info on to me and it has been great reading of your travels and tales. Pictures are pretty awesome too. Have a great stay in Israel and love to Lorel and Arnie.
Stay safe. Have fun.
xxxx Ann
oh please. anyone who thinks israel is dangerous should hang out in the east bay where people keep getting carjacked and killed by stray bullets while sitting on their porch. israel is safe with a capital S-A-F-E compared to that kind of shit.
in jerusalem, i know you have people to see and things to do but i must recommend that you have lunch or dinner at tmol shilshom on yoel solomon street (go down ben yehuda to kikar tzion, turn a hard right, it's 20 meters down yoel solomon to an alley just before #11, turn left into the alley, left again up the stairs). afterwards go back out to kikar tzion, turn right on jaffa road and the internet cafe is 50 meters down on the right.
only 12 shekels per hour! we give you good price!
the funniest part of the internet cafe is watching all the pale sweaty haredi men taking a brief break from studying mad torah to log on to jdate.com for the purposes of finding their mail order american frum bride. good luck, boys...