Sticky Residue

i gots seven more days of work (six full, two half), bartlebee's thesis defense, a bachelor party and a week of twitterpating before the 17th. which is when i'm getting married.

i'm not really sure what's going to happen in these few weeks. we're pretty well cranking on the wedding planning. i'm in my senior slump at work. we've even recently cleaned the house and gone shopping for groceries.

now i just need to shave my back and do my eyelid stretching excercises. and maybe get a visa for tanzania.

and try to breathe slowly.

pretty much everyone we invited to the wedding is coming. even people from fars fars away. and the ones with newborns. and the one who has been living with the mole people for eight hundred years and has developed extra-sensory blind-sight.

i have been told, truthfully, that one of our guests is chartering a plane so they can make the wedding.

i guess i better start writing my un-vows.

we don't give up the vows in a jewish wedding. we make little speeches of lurve and then nail a christian child to the wall. with our horns. for luck.

no. ha ha. the child doesn't have to be christian. it could be zoroastrian.

so yeah. i gots to start writing my speech. so it is full of the love. and the lurve. and a joke about bears.

i once performed a wedding ceremony. for my friend frenchy. afterwards, his grandpappy told me i should have told more jokes.

and taken off my pants slower and more in time with the beat.

live and learn.