Lucky

when we first landed and got our first view of manhattan, bartlebee's first glimpse ever, her response was, "yeah. big city." but she was just tired and needed six beers. then she said, "dude. this place is so mongo i feel prunk'd." and we all laughed. at pregnant people hungover in hot tubs.

because that shit is funny.

we stayed with brother lump in williamsburg.

we must have walked a bazillion miles. we also walked past blizinski a gobzillion times. blizinski, if i've guessed correctly, is a crepe place for rappers. or snoop dog's funeral parlour. either way. we walked past it a lot.

it was down the street from the warehouse loft my brother and the seven dwarves lived in. we needed a map to find the bathroom in that place, it was so mongo. and we needed a poisoned apple to keep the hookers from waking up. ha ha. that didn't really happen, of couse. it was too loud for anyone to sleep in that loft.

they've got this dude, al, who lives under the stairs there. like a hobbit or something. we need to get one of those for our place. he was awfully handy.

god. there are a lot of good times to share. i'm not sure i can get to them all. we got a backstage tour of the Met Opera. this guy Albert, who works on the stage and quite closely resembled tweedledee, showed us the five stages that move over each other and revolve and the crazy lighting positions they have and let us walk out onto the stage.

so i've been onstage at the Met. i sang a little song but no one heard me. i sang, "la."

i was really good. i think they're going to ask me back.

we also got to check out the wardrobe racks and the scenery pit and i got one of Pavoratti's lucky nails. (it's for you Wanko, if you want it.)

then, uh, we saw everything. on foot. for days. we walked the brooklyn bridge and said hi to dumbo and i had a shirt made that says, "there's no 'u' in team."

i love it.

i also got invited to be in Cirque du Subway. they're up and coming.

what else? we saw D and Em and met their friends. Brandonia was around, too. Bonnie met me for dim sum and i met her little moppet.

her husband eric is awesome. know why? because when i asked him how he liked having a kid he said,

it's really hard and you never get to sleep and having a social life is un-possible. we're going to see star wars tonight and we know it's going to blow and it is going to cost us $90.

then i french kissed him for not telling me i had to propigate immediately and that children endlessly fire sunshine out their butholes. i'm so sick of hearing that. dude. we see how tired you are. we know having kids is an unparalleled joy but so is drinking whiskey and joining the circus.

can i get an amen? how about an iman?

i'd rather have an iman.

tomorrow is my birthday. i'll be thirty-three. thirty-three is my lucky number.