Billie Jean
this weekend we went up to the russian river for adam's birthday. he turned old years old so we sat in the hot tub and played board games to celebrate.
we all went to bed at midnight after we did our homework.
'cause we're hard rock.
we also watched an old bill cosby video.
that's right. i said video. VIDEO. as in tape.
'cause we're soft rock!
there were all sorts of shennanigans and hilarious jokes this weekend but you don't really deserve to hear about them. because you did not say the magic word.
the magic word is prunked.
as in, you've been prunked!
getting prunked is just like getting punked except instead of having some pre-washed up sitcom star play a practical joke on you on international television, when you get prunked you wake up totally hungover and pregnant in the hot tub.
now that would be a good show!
i'm feeling a little draggy today. i may be slightly sick, or perhaps the massage i got this weekend released my (insert hippie phrasology here) and i'm just recovering.
it was a very good massage. so i bought one for bartlebee too.
then i made custom order scrambles for everyone.
god, this is even boring me.
i want you to know that billie jean is not my lover. she's just a girl who says that i am the one. but she got prunked and it's not my problem. the kid is not my son.
everyone is getting prunked these days. getting prunked is the new happy slapping.
i think if michael jackson manages to avoid prison we should throw a serious sequined glove, red leather jacket mikejack party. and if he gets convicted we should investigate big bird for molesting elmo. i mean. big bird is completely weird. he must be a paedophile. he looks at porn. all porn-lookers want to fondle boys.
this is the worst blogpost i have ever written.
i think the correct spelling is prunk'd.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You've written dozens of terrible blogposts.
In retrospect, I think it was worth it, if only for the off-hand reference to "happy slapping". Which can only mean god knows what!
listen to ajax, he knows what he's talking about.
i hear all the kids are dancing to that prunk music. galang galang and whatnot.
we're now all singing billy jean in our van in Saline Valley. We're roasting alive. But we have good food and lots of wires and biting flies. And when night falls, the tubs are quite nice.