It's a Lulu
today is lulu's birthday. happy birthday lulu!
despite the fact that she is a woman, lulu is one of my bestmen. she and my brother will be holding up my side of the chuppah at my wedding.
(bestmen, by the way, is not in the scrabble dictionary. i tried to play it the other day and was denied.)
lulu was and is one my best friends. she was most completely there for me when i was no fun to be with and i will never forget it. i was no fun to be with for an extended period of time. like a year. but she fed me beer and watched movies with me and then we crashed a wedding at the archbishops mansion. i kissed the bride. no tongue, though. the archbishop was there.
now lulu has a baby and he likes to eat tokyo because he has a ginormous head. or mabye he has a ginormous head SO he can eat tokyo? causality is hard to prove.
actually his head is not that big.
lulu has a baby and so i don't see her all so much. that's kind of crappy. her latin lover works a lot so they both have scant free time, what with having a godzilla baby and all. sometimes i go out to the east bay to see them. but not often enough.
i am bad. i am a bad egg.
to repent, we will take lulu out to see some strippers. i'm not sure how this is logical, but nevertheless, it is in the calendar. we will leave baby at home, gather some friends, drink overpriced cocktails, and play real/fake. i will be forced by the hand of the almighty to purchase for lulu a lapdance.
'cause it's her birthday! birthday lapdance!
who invented the lapdance, anyway? that person should be getting props right now. do you think he/she gets lapdance royalties? why isn't that part of the intellectual property debate?
don't jump to any conclusions.
i don't want you to think we are frequenters of bawdy entertainments. because we are infrequenters of bawdy entertainments. every so often, such an event is called for. and surviving another year of life and another year of life with baby, and another year of not being arrested for making guerrilla butt-print art on the walls of K-Mart -- these things demand celebration.
so for lulu, we will all make the sacrifice and see nekkid womens wiggle provocatively.
wedding planning is going fine. thanks for asking.
we booked a baker, which means the only major component we've got looming is the invitations.
alicia just wrote to say that she's coming and she lives in australia. that's pretty cool. alicia was around visiting when bartlebee and i were first making goo-goo eyes at each other. she thought we were insane.
just because we loved dolly parton's version of stairway to heaven.
i guess i'm a little nervous that everyone we invited will decide to come and then we'll have too many people and we'll have to cull the herd with a tiger.
a hungry tiger. made out of wolverines. exploding wolverines.
boy. that would be a wedding to remember!
happy birthday lulu!
If you get cheap envelopes, don't let your bride lick them all.
if you really love lulu you'll spring for the vip room.
i want to see the baby eat tokyo.
i like how you conveniently didn't mention that because of you we can't see strippers until june. which isn't even in her birth month. or mine, for that matter.
lovely lovely...i could not ask for a sweeter message on my birthday...the only thing i could want for would maybe be some strippers...:)
but yes, I will have to wait for June for that-
which interestingly enough, I believe is a certain witty and darned cute writer (of this blog!'s) birthday month! there will have to be lap dances all around indeed.
love,
the best man
aka lulu
aka the monster's mommy