Cookie Dough
in the past week, i've heard the following two statements from two differen't people.
1) i was lucky to get into grad school. it was a slow application year.
2) i didn't get in to any grad schools.
jee-zus. heebie be-jebus!
i really don't know where to start with all that, but since i'm in a cranky mood this morning and feel the need to rant about something to expunge my crankitude, i'll try.
why is it so hard for people to believe they are smart?
in the case of person one, a scientist, they only applied to graduate school once. one application, one year. so, no control group. they applied once and got accepted. it happened to be a slow application year, but was that a factor? with no control group, it's impossible to say. would this person have been accepted in a high application year? maybe. could they have gotten into Oxford? or the Sorbonne? maybe. we probably will never know.
in the case of person number two, a writer, i was forced to ask after hearing this statement: how many grad schools did you apply to? the answer? two. one of the places he applied to is one of the most prestigious universities in the country. the other was only accepting ONE MALE this year. when i scoffed at his calling this a defeat, he said, "hey. how about some sympathy."
so i said, "i'm sorry you aren't a better writer."
but i was kidding.
his writing is top notch. and the scientist is top notch. they both could reasonably be expected to be placed in the most prestigious graduate schools should they so apply themselves over a period of time and be lucky enough to have the right specific interests/ethnicity/grant-giving-parents/whatever the particular universtiy is seeking at that time.
yet they both look at what happened to them as proof that they are not smart. the scientist only applied to one school and didn't even follow up with professors. the writer only applied to the most elite schools. yet they both manage to see their condition as proof that they are not worthy.
that's not smart.
actually, if i'm going to be honest, i think going to graduate school isn't smart. a fairly wide sample group shows that attending graduate school is a fucking miserable experience exceded only by being slathered in raw cookie dough before being locked in a room with rosie o'donnell.
see? i do feel less cranky now.
thank you blog!
[editor's note:] i mispoke. the experience of attending graduate school is exceded only by the whole cookie dough/o'donnell scenario and by planning a wedding. oh, the things we suffer to get what we want!
what grad school do i apply to in order to be slathered with whip cream and locked in a closet with christina aguilera?
that only happens when you get your Mtv degree.
I don't know ... I think grad school is both a worthy and a miserable experience. It's a rite of passage ... a lot of what you are forced to do is simply because the people who set up the program had to do the same thing and feel like you should endure the torture too. On the other hand, it's often a fast-track to career opportunities that would otherwise have taken an unknown amount of time (unless you are really hot and good at oral sex).
Given the choice of starting grad school again or being at my old job 5 days a week ... I'd pick grad school hands down. But, then again, I'm not very smart.
you're also only in year one...
Ha, ha, Rosie O'Donnel is a big fattie fathead! Better watch out she'll eat your arm off! Ha, ha, ha fat people!
"i'm sorry you aren't a better writer" - I am going to use this every day now.