Down the Stairs
today, someone said one of the stupidest things i've ever heard.
she said:
it's so hard coming back from vacation, that i think it would be better to not have vacation at all.
in response i shot her in the thigh and kicked her down the stairs onto the bike rack.
no. i did not do anything so grossly inhumane. i just looked at her as if she had told me that giant hairy spiders were living in her nostrils. she quickly recanted, but don't you see! the man! the man is spreading his evil mind control.
you don't want vacation, right? it's too hard to come back. just stay and work like a good little drone until you're too old to rise up in rebellion and demand more cheese-flavored treats to go with your weak coffee.
i say: rebellion now! bring on the cheese-flavored treats now or we'll shoot you in the thigh and kick you down the stairs onto the bike rack.
why the violent thoughts, you ask?
because coming back from vacation is hard and everyone here is frickin' grumpy. all of a sudden all those emails you sent are coming back as responses which involve tasks you must accomplish! immediately! go go go!
no. no i did not schedule a meeting as one email three weeks ago vaguely implied i should. please yell at me about it while i schedule it now. no. no i don't know why people did not respond to the emails i've sent on your behalf for the past two weeks. maybe it's the mind-plague? or, uh...
christmas?
could that be it?
in better news, i saw hal today. hal is funny. he is not an office drone. he is a man in black. part of the crew. he said, today is my favorite day of the year. today, the christmas music stops for another ten and a half months.
hah! yeah! that's right.
is it five yet?
