November 2004 Archives

You may have noticed that I was a bit frustrated with the blog of late.

I may have made some threats. Been slightly insulting. Really. I didn't mean it. It was the booze talking. All those uppers. The electric eel in my shorts.

It was good to take a little blog break, though. And I do still intend to try and do some blog surgery when I can, but Madhavi's mum is flying in from Australia tomorrow so I expect that I may be a little busy.

uncle.

that's it. after struggling with my diseased blog since the upgrade and watching small pieces of it fall away every day i've decided to start blogging on the walls of quiet alleyways and fuck this computer booshit.

yesterday, it didn't even recognize me! me! it raised its sick head from its pillow, coughed weakly, and said, "marlon? did you bring me the goat tacos?"

who the fuck is marlon! goat tacos! oh, the humanity!

basically, i hate it now. and you. and you suck. i've disabled the typekey stuff because it didn't work and i took off the comment subscription stuff because that doesn't work and i'm ignoring all the other glitches because i don't have the heart to sit here and watch it die.

fight! fight, damn you! *sob* you've got so much life left in you, blog! don't go! what will we do without you?

oh, the agony. R.I.P. blog.

please send flowers and concilatory notes to your butt. c/o your butt.

this weekend my blog locked me out, my iPod wiped itself, and my phone refused to charge.

so i got me some revenge. i went to hippielandia and smeared myself in patchouli and played in a drum circle.

no. i am lying. i did go to hippielandia (santa cruz) to escape the techonolgy hate though. it was a good idea. madhavi and i were having a crappo morning so she suggested we go to visit adam and juli.

bill has fixed what i broke on my blog!

three cheers for bill!

i totally screwed everything up so it looked all ugly. now it looks correct again. he's also going to try and get my MT-Notifier plug-in working so people who comment can click a box and then get an email if anyone else comments on their comment. this hopefully will foster some good discussion. currently, you can subscribe to comments by entering your email in the text box down at the bottom, but that's all clunky. we aim for sleek here at glob-industries.

na-na-na-na-na-Shark Tornado!

that was a lil song i wrote with sean. it was the theme song to this movie i was writing. called Shark Tornado.

it's about a small, sleepy gulf town that is terrorized by a tornado full of sharks.

it could happen.

my favorite part about it was the tag lines i made up for the non-existant poster. i had two. the first was:

SHARK TORNADO!
What could be worse?

and the second was:

SHARK TORNADO!
First it blows, then it bites!

this is why i lurve natalie dee:

Q: If you could cross breed any two or three animals, which animals would you combine and why? What would you call it? Can i ride one?

A: i would cross a jackass and a hippo and call it THE INTERNET. you could ride one if you wanted, but you would probably get ejaculate all over yourself.

see? she is rockomatic. which is not really a word.

i would like to tell you about the best things that happened this weekend, but decorum prohibits me from doing so. let me just reiterate that i am clearly marrying the right woman.

instead, i'll tell you i spent a ton of time trying to get the new features on this blog working. my success rate is now 50%.

anyone understand css and perl? no, wait! don't stop reading! this will get interesting. and funny? maybe?

c'mon. it's monday morning. cut me some slack.

last night i bought flowers, walked the dog, made fajitas and then upgraded my blog software.

upgrading the blog software really sucked and let me tell you why. i had to FTP shit and then i had to deal with cgi/perl scripts. after drinking whiskey.

Dick Cheney insists on link between Al Qaeda and Kevin Bacon. Al Qaeda was trained by the CIA which was created by Harry Truman who dropped the bomb which was conceived by the Manhattan Project which was a movie starring John Lithgow who was in Footloose with Kevin Bacon.

that's off sinfest.net

i like that comic.

madhavi, as you may know, is not jewish.

we were talking about jewish stuff in preparation for the wedding and she said this:

it's hard for me to invoke Israel in all of these blessings. when i hear Israel, i think of horrible things.

well, yeah. me too.

man. the nyt did not like Polar Express at all:

It's likely, I imagine, that most moviegoers will be more concerned by the eerie listlessness of those characters' faces and the grim vision of Santa Claus's North Pole compound, with interiors that look like a munitions factory and facades that seem conceived along the same oppressive lines as Coketown, the red-brick town of "machinery and tall chimneys" in Dickens's "Hard Times." Tots surely won't recognize that Santa's big entrance in front of the throngs of frenzied elves and awe-struck children directly evokes, however unconsciously, one of Hitler's Nuremberg rally entrances in Leni Riefenstahl's "Triumph of the Will." But their parents may marvel that when Santa's big red sack of toys is hoisted from factory floor to sleigh it resembles nothing so much as an airborne scrotum.

uh. i think he just called santa a nazi and said you were getting nards for christmas.

should have voted for kerry, huh? that will teach you.

i have been writing a lot about the wedding. details of the wedding. stuff.

here is my 1 month check-in on the trip into the wedding vortex:

1) the wedding sucks a lot harder than i ever dreamed possible. from almost the very first moment i placed the ring on her finger, the vortex began sucking -- and not the good kind of sucking which cannot be shown in R-rated films. the kind of sucking that gives you a hickey before your big job interview at the bank.

2) all that wedding stuff is stressful. budgets. plans. decisions. pressure. it's your freakin' wedding and you better not fuck it up. see?

3) the wedding is not really all that stressful at all. it is just illusion distracting you from the fact that you are getting married. and what the hell does getting married even mean?

well. here's what kevin and i discussed:

here's what's wrong with democrats:

Farenheit 9/11

i finally got around to watching it. here's what i think farenheit 9/11 is. F911 is a rallying call for pre-ralled troops. F911 is innuendo and slander disguised as documentary -- in other words, propaganda. F911 is propaganda that, with only a slight shift of perspective is indistinguishable from conspiracy theory nutcase-land. there is very little resembling facts in it. bush read a story book instead of reacting to a surprise terrorist attack. what would you have done? bush has connections to oil companies. no shit. congress didn't read the patriot act -- was that the republicans or the democrats? both? oh. great. war is killing people. well open my eyes michael moore! you sure are a cup of coffee on a dark and dreary monday.

why, you ask, am i beating up on F911? i'll tell you why.

it's called The Fog of War.

when i got home from work yesterday, madhavi was busy cooking roast chicken, mashed potatos and broccoli. why? 'cause she loves me.

hah hah hah.

i win.

then she went off to her womyns grrrroup and i screwed around at home and did not stress about the wedding or the election or the red sox or entropy or anything.

i thought today was as bad as it was going to get when i saw kerry conceded.

then i listened to a bunch of wedding band demos on the web and saw an advertisement for a new kind of budweiser.

it's got caffeine and ginseng and guarana in it. it's called B-to-the-E.

i think i'd rather listen to wedding band demos.

i'm thinking i might have to pull for a DJ. can you really hora to a DJ, though?

i am somewhat comforted by the fact that i am soon to be eligible for spousal visas in both australia and the united kingdom.

i am otherwise considerably disenheartened.

man that was horrible. seeing all those states turn red and seeing the popular vote numbers, i really have to stop and think:

what the hell?

i'm on edge today, anxiously bipping between the NYT and wonkette and fark trying to see what's what in vote-land. so, to distract, here are two brief tales.

1) my three year old neice zella was at the beach. some other kid came up and started bragging. "i built a sand dragon. i built a sand castle. i dug a big moat."

she looks at him and says, "i'm from new york."

that shut him up.

2) some guy on the street today had a shirt that read: Elect Better Actors

i'm hopefull we'll have a new president soon. keep your fingers crossed.

i tell you scary story now.

it starts all happy-pants. on friday, i left work early (yea!) to go to the wedding of meghan and ron (yea!) who are my friends (yea!) and who deserve to spend the rest of their lives happy together (yea!).

it was a fairly rockin' wedding even though there was significant family drama and they needed a priest and a rabbi and meghan almost had to get married without her dress as there were some nightmares there. not the kind of stuff a newly engaged bloke wants to hear.