Things We Do Not Know

i understand not knowing how to do long division because most kids have calculators on their phones and game boys and nipple rings and stuff, but measuring? you cannot measure without a very sophisticated computer and some lasers and a helper monkey. you need a goddamned ruler or a tape measure or a yard stick -- all of which operate on the same extremely complicated concept:

1) put measuring device next to object you wish to measure.
2) read measuring device.

i'm afraid kids today just don't know how big things are. or how long. this translate into playground confusion! imagine: little timmy calls sporko nick a "big asshole." without a ruler, without a sense of scale, what does this mean?

sporko nick may think that means he's an asshole of approximately 2-5 inches in circumfrence whereas little timmy actually is implying that he's an asshole with a six yard diameter. without a ruler they will never know just how big an asshole sporko nick is.

in other news, i went to see neil young last night. it was a benefit concert for this after school program in the east bay and the aboriginal voices radio network. Xabache (Nobody) from Dead Man came out to talk about this radio program that broadcasts out of urban centers in Canada and also on the web and there were two native american acts who did some shtick.

it would have been better except there were these two meatheads behind us who were guzzling beer and mooing. yes. mooing. somehow they thought "solo acoustic show at the berkeley community center" was more like "monster truck rally." they spilled beer all over themselves and heckled jonathan richmond.

joanna newsom also played. i'd heard her name here and there, but really had no idea who she was. turns out she's this elfin harpist who sings like bjork with a cold. i found her completely endearing and i'm going to buy her album right now so i can put something of hers up on monkeysars next week.

sean absolutely hated her and went out to the lobby to scrape his ears up against the wall until she left the stage.

then jonathan richmond played, like i mentioned, and he was as cute as he could be, singing in italian and french and doing his cute little wiggly dances. sean liked him and i was glad he played my favorite song, Let Her Go Into the Darkness.

then, of course, shakey himself. for his solo acoustic set they brought out eight guitars, a banjo, some harmonicas, a grand piano, an organ, and a harpsichord or something. he was excellent, if a bit brief, playing Cowgirl in the Sand and Harvest Moon and Don't Let It Bring You Down and a bunch of other stuff. He didn't touch the organ but he did play the banjo.

It's Rosh Hashanah today. Happy new year!