No! Bad Monkey!

yesterday, i got a postcard from the pope. he was all talking about how J.C. got him this dope red cape at Ross Dress for Less and how one thing the gospels totally missed out on was how J.C. has an eye for the bargains.

it kinda looked like my brother's handwriting though. lev is in italy so maybe he was dictating? whatever.

i had a irkitable morning. so i will talk to you about dog poop.

here's what happened. i woke up. *yawn* *stretch* a little sleepy cause ed and me went to see Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence last night. It reminded me of a freshman philosophy class taught by a foreign TA that you try to tune out by reading a violent comic book. meaning, it kinda sucked. trying to read a lot subtitles at 11:00 pm is un-good. in it's favor, however, i will say it was heavy on the zombie hookers.

this morning i shower and take the dog to the NICE dog park. there's one that's closer by half a block, but it's all dingy and trash filled and frequently frequented by junkies. the nice dog park is further up market and is green and leafy and quiet and clean. today, however, there were two people camped out there.

people camping in the nice dog park! now... at first i thought, well, being homeless must suck so i will just grin and bear it but THEN i noticed they had a mountain bike and a bag of coffee and were sitting around leisurely smoking joints.

fucking hippies! in my dog park! oh, the fury. this is not a rainbow gathering. this is where i take my dog to poop.

my dog's poop is more important than hippies!

there. i've said it. i'm not particularly proud, but i am honest.

of course, kaya declined to poop as, being a smart dog, she is put off by hippies. so now she is sitting in the house probably WANTING to poop but being sensible and NOT pooping. (please please please!)

what, i ask you, can a man do about a situation like this? people generally do not take too kindly to being told you find excrement to be more important than their need to live a free lifestyle.

maybe it will rain and they'll go away.

in better news, my sister says my niece wanted her big gold plastic necklace so repeatedly asked for her "bling bling." i am successful in teaching three year old zella how to talk good! maybe i will have her speak to the hooligans in the dog park. i'll send her there with kaya and have her say, "mess 'em up, dogs."

although more likely she will just say, "i want something else" until everyone's brain explodes.

the end.