A-Twitter

So perhaps, once again, it is story time?

Once upon a time, in a small New England town, there was a boy.

Because this is an awfully embarassing story, the boy is distinctly not me. He was about eight, this boy was, and his name was not Zack. It was Kazc.

Kazc lived in a house with a big yard with a stone wall. Behind the stone wall was another house. In that house lived a boy who was smarter than all the gummy fish you could stuff into a bichon frise. His name was Eric so lets call him Eric. I remember, I mean Kazc remembers the time Eric thought it would be really cool to sled off the big rock in the back yard and he was right except for the big tree beneath the big rock which decided to cruelly stop Eric's forward momentum. Eric had to go to the hospital and he had to buy a new hat.

Anyway. One time Eric and Kazc were playing in the yard and it was hot. It wasn't hottt hot, because they were eight and that would be gross. It was just hot because New England in the summer knows how to crank the mother-fucking humidity. Kazc was wearing long pants and decided to go into the hizzouse and get some short pizzants on. You shizzle?

So into the house he went while Eric played on the rock with the little divot in it which they had filled with water and bugs as part of a nefarious plot to kill lots of time. When Kazc went up to his room to change his pants, he saw that his gerbil's cage was absolutely disgusting and smelled quite strongly of gerbil poop. This was unsurprising because he only cleaned the gerbil's cage when forced because he was eight and eight year olds are smart enough to know that cleaning up gerbil poop is narsty.

Kazc played with his gerbil for a while, 'cause hey, gerbil, then he went back outside.

In the yard again, Eric asked him why he was only wearing his underwear.

Yes. It is true. In the gerbil-excitement (no, don't go there) Kazc had removed his long pants and forgotton to put on his short pants, leaving him wearing only his tighty-whiteys. This certainly sounds like quite a prediciment, doesn't it!

Perhaps I should make you wait until next week to find out the dramatic conclusion to this story? Like, all cliffhanger and stuff? Then you'd race to work on Monday morning all a-twitter (ha ha! you're all a-twitter!!! that's soooo gay!) to find out what happened and forget that you have to go to work to collate copies and file shit and that you have to do that practically every goddamned day of your life on and on and on until you are hit by bus.

No. I will take pity on you. Here's what happened next. Kazc looked down, saw that he had indeed forgotton to put on any pants (Like that doesn't happen to you ALL the TIME. liar.). He said to Eric. "Nu-uh. These are just a new kind of short pants, but I don't like them that much so I am going to go inside and put on a DIFFERENT kind of short pants."

When he came out again, Eric had that confused look on his face, unsure if he had actually caught Zack, I mean Kazc, without any pants on or if there was indeed a new kind of short pants kids were wearing that looked just like tighty-whiteys.

There is a moral to this story.

"It isn't all bad if your playmates are dumber than toast."