July 2004 Archives

see?

oh. no wait. that's not a brittney spears ass tattoo. it's just me and ajax and shannon (shannon's the one with the mustache) at the tunnel top where we crossed the streams and it was not bad (<- ghostbusters reference, madhavi).

it was actually pretty cool and the beers were only $2! plus, buy two beers and pet ajax's mustache for free! man. there was a long line for that! it's not burt reynolds 'stache yet, but it's almost william hurtish. hurtish? whatever.

yesterday, i had a procrasto-moment and decided to check my blog archive to see what i was doing this time last year. whining, apparently.

no. actually i don't even remember. not blogging as much is the quick answer.

thus, i came up with this theory about blogging. it's like playing an instrument. you start playing for some dumb reason like wanting to either meet girls or collect spit or carry around something heavy. then you find out you have to practice and while you're practicing, you kinda suck.

you write all these blog posts that are messy and you make mistakes. then you either decide to suck it up and really do it or you just give up. (bill, i'm talking about you.)

if you do it, you then have this problem, which is "i've been blogging for a long time now, i just can't stop!"

it's hard to sleep when the world is going bumpbumpbump.

i have come to a conclusion. i like camping. i like dance music. i do not like dance music in my camping nor camping in my dance music.

jack daniels is okay, though.

i'm not feeling particularly bloggy today. i do feel like using the word harrumphical in a sentence however. i also want to say gazpacho!

gazpacho!

today's post will be full of lies.

lies! it will be like a game. i will lie to you and you will believe me because i hold you in my mystical sway.

mystical sway would be a good name for a band.

see? the lies! they come already. you thought you were ready for them but i am quick like ninja! mystical sway would be a craptastic band and they would play pan flute versions of Innagaddadivida.

i've got to type up THREE sets of minutes today.

i would like to take this moment to whine about that. can you hear me? can you hear me whining? huh? huh? huh?

mom i WANT some snacks!

yoplait. that's a weird name. is a yoplait one of those hair-extension braids with beads tied in? i think that's what i'm going to start calling them. yoplaits.

let's see. what shall i blog about today? any requests?

cheese and it's inherent goodness? mixing up exasperate and exacerbate? getting arthritis at thirty-two? the incredible hulk?

you tell me.

yes! you have been waiting for it and now... it. is. HERE!!!

today is officially Uncaring Bastard day.

you've got work to do? who cares! you forgot to call grandma? who cares! you spilled yoplait all over your keyboard? you could not give a rat's ass. no no no. there is no caring.

so just take a deep breath and let it all out.

waaaa-haaachaka!

i'm a-karate-choppin!

why, you ask? why do i be karate choppin'? just 'cause.

it's been one of those vacuum bed mornings. when the bed is imbued with magical vacuum powers and you must pry yourself out with promises of yummy yummy toothpaste and the toilet.

see? that's another idea! i'm having ideas!

i'd like to make t-shirts that say, "you are here"

but that's not what i was going to write about today. no no no. i was going to write about spiderman. but not really about spiderman.

so there is some good news.

here it is.

yesterday, when i was feeling so blooey, the two people who were the most helpful were both people i have never ever ever met.

one was monique, who is a blogger with big pink sunglasses. she sent me her cell number and we talked for about half an hour while she continued to drive across country. she was heading to Ypsilanti, Michigan. i went to a strip club in Ypsi once, when i was about 19. my first strip club! boy does michigan depress me! the other person who rocked was a blogger named shannon. she spent quite a bit of time emailing back and forth with me all day and gave me some really good advice.

mnqf and i, we've decided.

it's most definitely "you're goddamned wrong" day. it was "you're goddamned right" day not so long ago. now it's payback and payback's a bitch.

feel like running for governor, or joining macaroni dancers united, or slipping a fin into the pocket of the guy next to you on the tram?

you're goddamned wrong!

stay home and watch bad tv. frankly, you'll be lucky if you don't injure yourself climbing the stairs. unless you're ed, and then you'll be lucky if you don't injure yourself *again* climbing the stairs.

i kinda went blooey.

it's all pretty personal stuff, so i don't think i'll get into specifics, but today i feel pretty overwhelmed and scared and vulnerable. it's not a particularly nice feeling.

logically, i know that the things i've said and done will not end the world. emotionally, i'm not so convinced.

i guess that's what it comes down to. being able to control your fears once you admit to having them.

so i'm afraid. i'm afraid i'm not good enough, or successful enough, or attractive enough. i'm afraid to ask for what i need because i'm afraid of what happens if it can't be given. do i just pretend like i don't need it?

i'm just trying to relax now. to deal with the fact that i asked for what i need, that i exposed my fears, and to trust that it will all work out. i'm trying to let it be okay that i've gone a bit blooey.

but i'm scared.

this blog post brought to you by the letter F and the number 6.

no really. i've got nothing for you today. nothing.

there's absolutely nothing going on in my head that's worth sharing at all.

oh wait.

i like cheese. it's satisfying.

happy now?

goddamn blog-vampires! you've sucked me dry!

i'm not nearly as sore as i thought i'd be. wait... what's happening?!?

yes! you guessed it! it's the weekend-round up! you win the soo-prize!

since i'm feeling fairly wrecked and extra-lazy, i'll do it shorthand; like i used to do my travel journal emails if you've known me long enough to remember those.

ahem.

hello. today, i am just thinking about camping! yea! camping!

i'm going camping with madhavi and i'm leaving work early (yea!) and we're going to camp (yea!) and swim with the steelhead (yea!)(weird!)(weird yea!).

but i think today i will not talk about me, because me is just, you know, so me.

today i will talk about the other blogs i read.

this song is in my head. that is not particularly good news.

yes, we here at the symphony are sucking at the disney teat. drinking the sour mouse milk which makes ice-blended slush in the heads of wee chilluns all across this small small world. joy! we're doing a shoreline concert to film clips of mickey "pulling his wand from under his robe." in previous drafts, the wand "spurted" fireworks. now it sparkles.

heh.