July 2003 Archives
it's almost august.
when i think august; i think of the adjective
august \ adj: marked by majestic dignity or grandeur.
that's something to look forward to. living in august. i'm not sure i'm doing stellar on the whole majestic dignity and grandeur thing, though. on one hand, i've been kind of all over the place lately ("sorry" he says in a sing-songy voice). on the other hand, being the way you are, respecting it, hell... that's more dignified than fake smiles or three-piece suits. and there's grandeur everywhere. i'm reminded of a piece of the Tao Tze Ching, which i think i might be able to type out from memory (reciting it from memory reminds me of Valerie. if you're out there somewhere Valerie, i'm thinking of you.).
Lao Tzu writes:
existence is beyond the power of words
to define:
terms may be used
but none of them absolute
in the beginning of heaven and earth there were no words
words came out of the womb of matter
and whether a person dispassionately sees to the core of life
or passionately sees the surface
the core and the surface are essentially the same
words making them seem different
only to express appearance.
if name be needed,
wonder names them both
from wonder into wonder
existence opens.
my glass is raised, say it with me: "to august!"
yes. it is true! i am regular!
despite the fact that my department at the San Francisco Symphony is still in transition, and despite the fact that my official title includes the word "interim," i am, as of this Monday past, a regular employee of SFS. for those of you who didn't know, i was "temp" for the past four months. now, as of August 1, i get the super stellar SFS employee benefits: health, dental, vision, retirement, free tickets, and a pony. my very own pony!
i would like to take this moment to say how much i like my job. i never ever ever ever ever thought i would like a job. but i like this one.
and that is one of many things that's making me happy.
we also have finally found a new housemate here. her name is Kathrin. she's German. today is her birthday! happy birthday Kathrin. welcome home.
here are the words in my head today. from very different sources.
In truitina mentis dubia / In the wavering balance of my feelings
fluctuant contraria / set against each other
lascivus amor et pudicitia. / lascivious love and modesty.
Sed eligo quod video / But I choose what I see
collum iugo prebeo / and submit my neck to the yoke;
ad iugum tamen suave transeo / I yield to the sweet yoke.
and
There are two kinds of men in this world; those with loaded guns and those who dig.
You dig.
i'm going to see the Eels tomorrow night. next week, I get to sit in the sixth row for Carmina Burana. today i was working backstage while Carol Burnett sang. what's your life like? mine sure isn't dull
